..it's not far!

Music link:        https://youtu.be/vOwgQq70XBE   

You know, I have tried to write this for a couple of weeks and every time that I get into it, it just doesn’t work. Well, finally yesterday I had such a victory that I have been able to fall asleep and to wake up feeling much more ‘blessed,’ than I have in weeks. 

It was something like seven years ago when I was driving a truck professionally. I had been doing it for maybe three or four years and then I came down with this phenomenon (medical diagnosed) issue called “Sleep Apnea.” Well, the next thing that I knew I was no longer able to drive professionally and then it was as if I had become like Job, the character in the Bible who was ferociously attacked by Satan, the god of this world. 

I found myself living in my storage, I developed a case of Prostrate Cancer, I found out that I had a liver issue and a case of Hepatitis C. 

Next, they had to treat an issue of an A-fibrillation in my heart of which has still not been healed. I had been taking high blood pressure meds for like fifteen years previous yet has now been increased to where I take like five a day. 

I have tried to turn my “giftings,” into a ministry which will produce an income because there are a few scriptures that describe my situation and state that I have every right as a minister of the gospel to be rewarded in just such a manner, yet nothing has worked out that way financially. 

So, I don’t demand from God, but instead I just tell God, “All right, whatever your will is for my life I agree to be obedient.”

Therefore, I have literally found ways to live on less than twelve hundred dollars a month for a number of years. Today, I live on a little over thirteen hundred dollars a month through my Social Security as my only income. 

Nevertheless, I have  slowly seen God’s wisdom through the hardship and the suffering.

You see, for fifty years, I have followed Christ and have spent thousands and thousands of dollars of my own money to follow God. Nonetheless, in all that time I have never doubted (well, I take that back) nevertheless, in my own heart I have always believed that one day God was going to give me an extraordinary life just as he gave to Job after all of the things that Job suffered. 

Lastly, I believe that God would like for me to give these future generations a message that you don’t need to be known by man or that you don’t need to be taught that you must be dependent and enslaved to man’s ways in order to serve God.

You see, I want to teach that you and God are more than enough to face the enemy and whatsoever that he throws against you in order to misguide your steps or to entrap you and to lure you into failure. 

Yes, someday I would like to stand up with a successful ministry which is known  around the world and to tell this next generation or Army of soldiers that no one had funded this ministry in order to have established worldwide recognition. 

I would like to tell each and every one of them that you don’t need to please any Pastor, Seminary Professor, or Bible School Teacher or Scholar. You don’t need to wait until you graduate a Bible School or established Satellite Corporation of Churches which has taught you fifty ways to manipulate God’s precious “Sheep,” who you have been given responsibility for in order to save their wonderful souls. I would like to tell them that those attributes which they had learned in Seminary of “greed, covetousness and manipulation of individuals are attributes of the devil, not the disciples or teachers of the “Word of God.”   

Nevertheless, let me continue in the part of the story of my life which God is presently at work on. It was July 2nd, and I was just goofing off on my computer. Many times, I get caught up in singing along with artists as I can sort of turn my machine into a Karaoke machine. Well, I felt a cold coming on, yet I hadn’t had anything such as the cold, flu or a Covid attack in quite a while.  

Well, I am not sure if I was hit with Covid, although I believe that I came down with a case even before the disease was announced publicly. It had been about a month before and I had suffered from something similar to cold or flu symptoms, yet I had lost all sense of smell and taste. Therefore, when they did announce it I recall thinking, “Well, that was exactly what I suffered a month or two ago with every one of those symptoms.”

Nonetheless, I didn’t say or do anything other than ‘thanking Jesus’ for protecting me of whatever it was. So, as I was saying, on July fourth of this year, the one day cold or flu had progressed beyond a day. In fact, it got worse until I could only lay in bed it seemed, as I didn’t even attempt to write for those first three weeks. Then it let up a little to where I could at least get back to writing and glean the internet in my usual pattern. 

Well, I recall a few weeks after it had literally kicked my butt, and I wrote a paper on how that I had changed my theology from believing that an older fellow such as myself would be a ‘fool,’ to want to marry a young twenty three year old, as I had stated in the past.

I mean, I was literally finding many things harder to do, and I was forced to admit that a person would be doing a young lady a terrible disservice for pursuing such a woman at my age. Well, thank God but it seems that I had run into a young lady where I had to re-think my new theology even harder than I had during those tough Flu weeks. Besides this the woman was a little older than the twenty two or three years which I had always spoke about. 

Nonetheless, what can I say but that I fell head over heels again for a young lady. Only this time, however, it was as if I had been getting signs or suggestions from God that it could very much be within His will. You see, there are many times in the past where I have thought a person might be within the “will of God,” to be a personal helpmate to me, but seldom ever have I been given signs. 

And I cannot say for sure that those signs are not counterfeit from Satan as the devil is the master deceiver, yet I have learned to “Keep those things close to your heart,” until you have time to properly discern them. 

You see, the absolute worst thing for me in my mind would be to falsely give an impression to someone that I thought that that person was the one individual who was approved by God to be my helpmeet in this life. 

No, I believe that before one marries as a Christian one should establish first that the individual is within God’s boundaries and will to be a lifetime partner to you. 

You see, I don’t believe that anyone has to be a Prophet in order to imagine what would happen in a marriage if the one spouse had manipulated or ‘tricked’ another into a marriage and especially if one of those partners were decades older than the other. Not only would I be destroying the future of someone whom I cared for but more than likely the marriage would be short lived and miserable. 

In the Christian history of great leaders there were few as John Wesley, yet they say that he travelled something like two hundred thousand miles on horseback. Well, it is common knowledge that his wife despised the man and I am sure the feelings were reciprocated by John. But can you imagine disliking your spouse so much that the world looks so much more beautiful and enticing riding horseback a quarter of a million miles rather than to be lying down beside your wonderful and special bride? 

Not me baby, he must have been a godly man though, because he never divorced her. Talk about self-control. 

I’m sorry, I get off on these rabbit trails sometimes. 

But seriously, why would anyone not have sense enough to know how terrible your marriage is going to turn out unless they are truly in love and committed to the person or they are confident that it was arranged in heaven before you even met the individual? 

Nonetheless, as all of these things hit me recently it has stunned me as I realized that I have been talking ‘Faith’ but not acting in ‘Faith.’

You see, I began to look at myself and to realize that I have been doing a great disservice to my future wife. At present, I am overweight, I still have issues concerning my health I need to jettison three quarters of the stuff in my apartment and to be ready to move in the direction that God will soon be leading me. Next, I need to seriously fast and pray until I can have that “Faith,” which I will need to help get myself healed including building relationships with those who preach it.  

For a number of weeks this sickness has lingered to six or seven weeks and though I thought that it was Covid I was tested and found out that it wasn’t. Well, I was going through some medications and I found five antibiotics from when I was treated a few years ago for something similar. Well, I took those yesterday and the day before and they did knock out that lingering tease that has lingered in my throat for weeks. 

Thank God. 

Nonetheless, for the last few months my blood pressure has been extremely high every morning. I always try to maintain it below 140/90, yet it has consistently been over that for a few weeks while I was suffering under this Flu or whatever it has been. A few days ago, it was like 156/ 115 and there were a few days similar to that reading. 

Well, not only has the cold been completely knocked out today, but I was also scheduled yesterday to receive a new C-Pap machine. As I shared I was first diagnosed with “Sleep Apnea,” while I was driving a truck. At the time I was told that it was one of the most severe cases they had noted.  Yesterday, I was informed that at present I have a very low rating on a scale of seriously needing a machine. 

Nonetheless, I used my brand-new machine last night and after maybe a four hour deep sleep my blood pressure had been at a better reading than in the past twelve months. You see, when I visited my Cardiologist a few weeks ago, I told her that I believed the problem with my blood pressure was caused from not getting proper sleep. 

So, I think last night proved it true, as I had a 113/82 reading and after taking my meds it dropped to an 84/72 reading which is even better. So, in other words, I believe once again that the Lord in providing my antibiotics, my new machine has helped to heal me of that period where the devil was slowly trying to destroy me through high levels of blood pressure and in leading me to a heart failure. 

Bless God!

So, what am I saying? 

I am stating that for the next probably six months, I am going to covet the gifts of healing from God, as the Bible suggests. Then I am going to spend some major time working on my weight and health through fasting, prayer and devotion to a new purpose while getting ready for my next adventure in God. 

You see, I need to seriously learn to pray for healing and the ‘Faith’ that I need to have in order to receive that healing, as well. Lastly, I have to make sure that my life decisions are not going to do any individual harm, but to only bring ‘blessing,’ into their lives. 

You see, I don’t wish for anyone to “shipwreck,” their Faith, least of all myself.

Nonetheless, a person ought to know that they know that they know before entering into some decisions for your life. also, no one should ever be under any kind of pressure.

Does that make sense?  

Lastly, I can say, “That’s my story and I am a sticking to it.”  

Music link:         https://youtu.be/nsYWbgOwcoU

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